Loving You
by Ambersan17
Summary: What happens when Harry returns after 5 years of no contact with his friends or family? Will Hermione be able to accept him back into her life? Please Read & Review!
1. Harry's Return

Summary: After the trio leaves Hogwarts, Harry goes off to Puddlemere United, to be their Seeker. Leaving behind his life, friends and Hermione. He's been gone for six years and after five years of not writing, Harry resigns from the team and comes back to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. Hermione won't speak to him, the only one he has is Ron. Harry tries everything to get Hermione to forgive him. Finally all she agrees to is being his friend…but, that's not enough for Harry.

Spoilers: Books 1-5

Rating: NC-17

**I Still Love you**

The day was nice, the sun was shining and there was a light breeze blowing. It was perfect for sitting outside of Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor in Diagon Alley and having some ice cream. And, that's exactly what Hermione Granger was doing. She sat at a table under the shade of an oak tree, enjoying a sundae and reading today's copy of the _Daily Profet_. She did this every once and a while, so she wouldn't be cooped up in her flat all day.

Diagon Alley was very busy for this time of year, the Hogwarts student were getting their new school supplies. The new school term would be starting next week and a new term called for new supplies. The new term also called for Hermione to get back to work. She was the Transfiguration professor at Hogwarts. She enjoyed it very much. Sometimes, she would see one of her students around Diagon Alley shopping for the new term, and they would stop to talk to her. She enjoyed it; the kids had taken a liking to her in her first year teaching. She was one of the favorite Professors.

Hermione finished reading an article about House Elf rebellions and turned to the next page. She gasped when she saw the headline: Puddlemere Seeker Resigns

Hermione looked at the picture of the Puddlemere seeker, Harry Potter. He was grinning big. Hermione's eyes moved form the picture to the article.

**Puddlemere Seeker Resigns**

**After six years of winning games and four years of winning the World Cup, the Seeker for Puddlemere has decided to resign. It will be a great loss for the team. Before Harry Potter joined, they were in a loosing streak, but when he joined, he led them through games and games of victories. If it weren't for him, the team would have been finished.**

**In an interview with one of the _Daily Profet_ reporters, Potter answers many questions, but some he doesn't. He will not reveal why he is leaving the team, or what he will be doing with his life when he does leave.**

**Puddlemere United will never be able to replace Harry Potter, for a better seeker, it looks like their winning streak will be over.**

After Hermione finished the article, her eyes were wide and her mouth agape. _Why would he resign?_ She asked herself. _He loves Quidditch, it's his life._

Though, hearing about Harry made her sad. It made her remember the night he had left. He had promised he would keep in touch with her, but after one year, she never heard from him again. She tried to write him countless times, but she never got a reply. It had been five years since she last heard from him. After a while, she stopped trying. She was depressed for the longest time. When she took the job at Hogwarts, she started getting busy, and began to forget about Harry. She didn't totally forget about him, but she kept him from interfering with her life.

Hermione's thoughts were interrupted, by a loud CRACK! She turned to see her friend, Ron Weasley. He had Apparated to Florean's.

"Hey Ron…" She said gloomily.

"Hermione…" He said sitting down beside her. "Is something wrong?"

She handed him the copy of the _Daily Profet _and pointed at the article about Harry.

"Oh…I've already read it." He said, sliding the paper back to her. "Why did it upset you?"

She didn't answer right away; she just sat there for a moment. When she did speak, it was in a quiet voice.

"It just got me to thinking about him again…that's all."

"Hermione, you can't stay mad at him. He's been really busy." Ron said.

"Too busy to write his best friends?" Hermione asked in a louder voice.

Ron didn't say anything. He agreed with her, but he also believed that Harry had a good reason for not writing them. He didn't want something like this to ruin their friendship.

"I just hope he doesn't come back here." Hermione said at last.

"Umm…Hermione, I think your going to be mad at me." Ron said with a sheepish grin on his face.

"Why?"

"Because…I know what Harry's going to do." He said.

"What?" She asked.

"Well, since I'm now the Headmaster at Hogwarts, there was an opening for the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor…."

"Ron…." Hermione began. "Your not telling me you hired him to be the new professor…are you?"

Ron nodded. A tear slid down Hermione's cheek.

"Ron…I can't see him again." She said shaking her head. "I can't face him."

"Hermione, I'm sorry. He's the only one I could find for the job."

Ron had been made Headmaster of Hogwarts after McGonagall resigned. Hermione was now Deputy Headmistress, though she wandered why she wasn't chosen for Headmistress, but she didn't dare bring it up around Ron.

"But Ron…you know what happened between us before he left. Then, he stops writing. How am I supposed to face him?" Tears were now streaming down her face. Ron grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently.

"Everything's going to be alright."

"No. It's not."

"Yes." Ron said sternly. "It's going to be fine. It'll be just like old times. The trio will be back together again."

Hermione shook her head again. "No, Ron. It's never going to be like old times."

Ron pulled Hermione into a hug. She rested her head on his shoulder and cried. She didn't care that there were people watching, she just let it all out.

As much as she wanted it to be like old times, she knew it could never happen. With her and Harry, especially. To many things had happened between them.

When Hermione went home that night, she took a shower and immediately went to bed. Her mind was racing with thoughts of Harry. When she lay down in her bed, she couldn't sleep. Harry just kept going through her mind. It made her think about the night, right before he left.

_Harry had come over to say goodbye. He would be leaving the next day. Hermione was sad, but she knew she would still get to write to Harry. They had been dating for over a year now, and were inseparable. Nothing could come between them. _

_"Harry…I'm going to miss you so much." _

_ "I'll miss you more." Said Harry._

_Hermione only smiled. Harry leaned his head down and planted a kiss on her lips. _

_"You better write me everyday." Hermione went on._

_"I will…I promise, Hermione." Harry said, looking deep into her eyes. "But, I have to go now."_

_"Well, if you have to…"_

_Harry brought his lips back down on Hermione's again. It was a very passionate kiss. It seemed it lasted forever, that is until Harry pulled back._

_"I have to go." He whispered._

_"Ok."_

_Harry moved away from Hermione and walked towards the door. When he reached it, he opened it and then turned back around. _

_"I love you, Hermione." He said and then he left and closed the door behind him._

_Hermione was awestruck. She didn't know what to do. He just told her that he loved her…did he really mean it? _

_Hermione ran and opened the door. "Harry!" She called out. But, there was no one there. He had already Disapparated. _

Hermione drifted off to sleep. Her head was still filled with thoughts of Harry.

The day before the students would arrive at Hogwarts was the day the professors were supposed to arrive. They came early, so they could get their lessons for the first day planned.

Hermione was dreading it. She had apparated to Hogsmeade and was walking up the Hogwarts drive. She made to walk slowly, so that she had more time to herself. She wasn't looking forward to this term, as she usually did. Seeing Harry again was going to kill her mentally.

She made it to the front steps to Hogwarts and stopped. She knew what was awaiting her and she didn't want to face it. Still walking slowly, she ascended the steps, to the big oak front doors, her heart was pounding. When she entered the Entrance hall, to her relief, it was deserted. She crossed the hall and then jogged up the Marble Staircase. Walking quickly, she made her way to her classroom, hoping she wouldn't run into _anyone _on the way. When she ran into her room, she locked the door behind her.

Harry walked slowly through the corridors of Hogwarts. He hadn't been there in six years. He stopped to talk to old paintings, and even Mr. Binns, the boring ghost that taught History of magic. Of course, Harry knew he would never leave. Then, he continued on. When he made it to the huge gargoyle statue that leads to the Headmaster's office he muttered the password, "Dungbomb." The gargoyle sprang to life and moved aside. Harry walked in and stood on the spiral staircase, which moved upwards. When he reached the highly polished oak door, he knocked.

He heard a voice say, "Come in." And the door opened to it's own accord.

Harry was greeted with a big grin from his friend, the Headmaster of Hogwarts, Ron.

"Ron…" Harry began, "It's great to see you."

"Hello, Harry. Great to see you too, mate." Ron said, getting up from his desk and walking around to greet him. They shook hands.

"It's been a long time…" Ron said.

"Yes…it has." Said Harry. "And that's one thing I need to clear up."

"No…" began Ron, "Don't. There's no need."

Harry tried to smile back at Ron, who was acting as if nothing had happened, but he couldn't. So, he said, "How did you land this job anyway? I figured McGonagall would have given it straight to Hermione."

Ron had wandered this too; so he didn't pretend to be surprised by the question. But, McGonagall had her reasons. What surprised him though, was that Harry had mentioned Hermione. Had he talked to her yet?

"I really don't know…McGonagall didn't say." Ron answered. "But, speaking of Hermione…have you talked to her yet?"

Harry sighed and shook his head.

"Well, then why are you up here talking to me and trying to apologize, when she's the one you should be apologizing to?" Ron said.

Harry was taken aback; he hadn't expected it from Ron. "I just got here…" He answered. "I haven't had the chance."

"Oh…well, you better get goin'…"

Harry was surprised that Ron was trying to get rid of his so quickly. He didn't know what to think.

"Ok…" Harry said. "I'll go find her, then."

"Good luck."

"Thanks, I'll need it. I'd be surprised if she even wants to talk to me…" He said as he left.

He headed to Hermione's office, which was located inside of the Transfiguration room. He walked slowly, trying to think of what he was going to say to her, when he found himself already at the door. With no idea what he was going to say, he knocked on the door lightly.

"Who is it?" She asked.

Harry hesitated a moment before answering. "Harry…"

There was a long silence. Harry thought for a moment that Hermione wasn't going to let him in. Then, the door opened. Harry walked in slowly, turning to close the door behind him. When he faced Hermione, she wasn't looking at him, but at a piece of parchment that lay on her desk. He knew she wasn't reading it, because her eyes were still. She just didn't want to look at him, though…he couldn't blame her.

He walked ever closer to her desk he was only a few feet in front of her, but she still hadn't looked at him.

"Hermione…" He said quietly.

"What?" She said, still not looking up.

"Hermione, look at me." He said.

She hesitated, but finally looked up. He could see traces of pain and her eyes were filled with tears that had yet to fall.

"Hermione…I—"

"Please, Harry." She interrupted. "Don't…" She stood and turned, with her side facing him.

Harry sighed. He then walked around the desk to face her. She looked at him again, and the tears began to fall. She tried to wipe them away, but new ones only replaced them.

Harry's green eyes poured into her chocolate brown eyes. He reached out instinctively and grabbed her hand. She looked at his hand around hers, and the tears began to fall faster. His other hand reached up and brushed some of the tears away.

"Hermione…" He whispered. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You should have thought about that before you stopped writing, Harry."

"I was so busy…I would have written I just couldn't find the time." Harry explained.

"You couldn't find the time for your two best friends? _For me?_" She snapped, pulling her hand from his.

"Hermione…I'm sorry." He said again. "Ron forgives me…why can't you?"

Hermione glared at him. "Ronald and I are two different people! Your relationship with him and your relationship with me was totally different!"

Harry was silent. He didn't know what to say or do, so he did the only thing he could think of at the time. He reached up and cupped Hermione's cheek and then kissed her. He softly caressed her lips with his. At first, he felt her relax under him, he thought she was going to welcome his embrace, but then he felt her pushing against him. She pushed him away, their lips breaking apart and then she slapped him. She slapped him hard, right across the face. Then, she ran into her office and slammed the door behind her.

"Hermione!" Harry called, running to the door. He rapped on it with his knuckles. "Hermione…please, talk to me."

"Leave me alone!" Hermione shouted through the door. He could tell by her shaky voice, that she was now crying harder…and it was all his fault.

"Hermione…" Harry trailed off. He sighed and his head fell against the door with a 'thunk.' A tear slid down his cheek.

Harry moved away from the door and turned to leave. He could have easily opened the door with his wand, but it wouldn't have done any good. Hermione didn't want to talk to him, and he didn't want to cause her any more pain. He would just wait until she had cooled off. He had to give her time alone…

Harry went back to the Defense Against the Dark Arts class. He sat at his desk, for the rest of the day and prepared the first few days' lessons.

When Harry awoke the next day, he found himself still at his desk. He had fallen asleep while still planning the lessons. He looked at his watch, it was nearly eight, and so he hadn't slept in late. Getting up, he stretched and looked out one of the windows. It was already bright out and the sun was casting light through, to brighten the room.

He couldn't believe he fell asleep, he hadn't even realized he was tired last night.

Harry was walking towards his door, when his stomach growled. He had skipped dinner last night, so he decided to go down to the Great Hall for some Breakfast. As he was walking, he passed the Transfiguration classroom, and he remembered what had happened yesterday with Hermione. Harry groaned. He hoped she wasn't in down in the Great Hall. Even though he really did want to see her, he didn't want to make her any angrier with himself.

When Harry entered the Great Hall, to his relief, Hermione wasn't in there. He scanned the staff table, to see whom all was teaching. At one end, to his demise, was Professor Snape. His least favorite teacher when he had attended Hogwarts as a student. He was surprised he was still teaching here. He looked old and feeble, but he still had the same greasy hair, which had faded to a gray color. Going down the table, there were many teachers he didn't recognize, and judging by the empty spots, he was going to meet a lot of knew teachers, very soon. Ron was sitting in the middle of the table, as Dumbledore had always done. Next to him, was an empty seat and then a squatty little man with hardly any hair, wearing a pinstriped cloak. On down the line, there were more empty seats.

Ron grinned at Harry as he sat down on his Right. "Professor Potter." He said with a smirk and a slight nod of his head.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Please…call me Harry. At least until the students arrive, it sounds to strange."

"Fine…" Said Ron. "So…how did it go last night with Hermione?"

Harry sighed heavily. "Terrible. She barely talked to me for a few minutes, then she slapped me and then she ran in her office crying."

Ron started laughing. "She slapped you…What for?"

Harry leaned closer to Ron and whispered, "Because I kissed her."

"What'd you do that for?"

"I didn't know what else to do! She was crying and I guess it was instinct…I don't know." Raved Harry.

Ron shook his head. "Instinct?"

"Shut up." Harry said, helping himself to some toast. Right about then, Harry looked up and Hermione entered the Great Hall. When she spotted Harry, she quickly looked at her feat as she walked up to the staff table and sat on Ron's left.

"Hey Hermione." Ron said.

"Good morning, Ron." She looked around him at Harry. "Harry…"

"Morning…" Harry said looking at her face, hoping to tell how she was feeling.

Hermione looked away quickly and started in on some bacon. Ron looked at Harry and shrugged his shoulders. Then, he got up and left the table, leaving Harry confused. Harry didn't dare look at Hermione; he knew she didn't want to talk to him. So, after he finished a small breakfast, he left and headed for his office.

Hermione watched him leave, she almost wanted call after him, but she stopped herself. She looked to her right, where Snape was sitting. He was looking at Harry with disgust and then his face turned to her.

"You and Potter not getting along?" Snape smirked.

"As if it's any of your business." Hermione snapped, and got up from the table, stalking off.

She strode across the Entrance Hall and up the Marble Staircase, heading to the Defense Against the Dark Arts class. She made it to the door and stopped, she heard voices inside. One's she was sure belonged to Harry and Ron.

"Ron…I don't know what I'm gonna do." Harry said. He started pacing back and forth in front of his desk, while Ron sat on the edge of it.

Lying on Harry's desk was the Marauder's Map. Ron glanced at Harry's office and saw a little dot outside the door. It was Labeled Hermione Granger. Ron quickly looked away and started talking to Harry again, so he wouldn't see the map.

"What all did she say?" Ron asked.

"Not much…" Harry said. "Something about not having time for my two best friends and then something about the difference in mine and your relationship, compared to hers and mine. But…I know we had different relationships, we were dating for Merlin's sake."

"Harry…" Ron said. "Yes, but don't you remember what you told her the night you left?"

Harry looked up at Ron. "That I love her? Of course I remember that."

"Well, why didn't you say anything to her about it in your letters?" Ron asked getting up.

"I don't know…she never mentioned it, so I didn't want to press on it." Harry answered.

Ron rolled his eyes. "Do you have any idea what you did to her?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you had her believing that you loved her and then you stopped writing. What do you think happened?"

Harry stopped pacing and looked at Ron. "Well Ron, that was the point in telling her, so she would know I did." Harry snapped.

Ron looked confused for a second. He thought for a moment before saying anything. "So, you really loved her?" He asked, glancing back at the map. Hermione was still there.

"Did and do." Harry said.

Ron was surprised. He raised his eyebrows at Harry. "You mean…you still love her?"

"Of course I do. I can't stop thinking about her." Harry started pacing again. "But, she's never going to forgive me…I'm an idiot!"

"No your not, Harry."

Harry looked at Ron like _he_ was the idiot.

"Ok…" Began Ron, "Maybe you are, but that shouldn't stop you from trying."

Harry paced up and down some more, thinking hard. He then walked to the window and looked out over the grounds. He looked over near the forest, to Hagrid's cabin. His face lit up.

"Is Hagrid still teaching?" Harry asked, turning to Ron.

"Yeah…"

"Great, I haven't talked to him in ages and…he could probably help."

Hermione turned and ran, she went to the nearest broom cupboard and threw herself in it. She heard Harry and Ron come out and she could tell by their footsteps, that they went different directions. When she was sure they were gone, she got out of the cupboard and dusted herself off.

She began to walk towards her office. Remembering what she had overheard, her eyes filled with tears as she went on. Harry really had loved her…and he still does. She wasn't sure what to think. She was still furious with him, but at the same time, she wanted to throw her arms around him and never let go. But, she wasn't going to give him any signs of weakness, she was going to do all she could to stay away from him, she had to stay strong.

By the time she reached her office, the tears were falling. She opened the door and was surprised to find Ron waiting for her. She jumped and started wiping at her eyes, hoping that he didn't see the tears that were in them. It was no good; her eyes were still puffy and red.

Ron saw the tears in her eyes immediately. "I figured as much." He said as she walked past him to her desk.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hermione snapped.

"I just meant that I knew you'd be crying."

"Why?" She asked, giving him a suspicious look.

"I saw you on the Marauder's Map, Hermione."

Hermione's eyes widened. "Did…did Harry see?"

Ron shook his head, "No."

"Good."

It was silent for a few minutes, during which Hermione sat at her desk, pretending to be looking for something in the drawers.

"Hermione…I know you heard."

She looked up at Ron. "Heard what?"

"The last thing Harry said."

Hermione thought for a moment and then said dumbly, "You mean, that he hadn't spoken to Hagrid in ages?"

Ron glared at her. "Hermione…" He said sternly.

"Fine!" She shrieked, tears spilling down her face again. "I heard."

"Then why are you upset?" Asked Ron.

"Because I know he didn't mean it."

"Hermione…" Ron said coming closer to her. "He meant it. I know he did."

She looked up at him. "How do you know?"

"Because, he's my best friend. I can tell when he's lying…and I know he wasn't then." Ron explained.

Hermione covered her face in her hands and began to cry harder. She was trembling.

"Hermione, I don't know why you're so upset about this…"

"He said he loved me and then he didn't say anything about it for six years!" Hermione said, now looking up at Ron. "Now he says he still loves me…and…and…" She buried her face in her hands again; she couldn't finish what she wanted to say.

Ron put his arm around her shoulders. When Hermione looked up at him, tears were still streaming down her face. She only looked at him for a moment, contemplating on whether or not to tell him.

Her voice barely above a whisper, she finally said, "…And…I love him, too."

Ron was taken aback by what she said; he was just as surprised as he was when Harry told him the same thing about her.

It was silent again. The only noise was Hermione's muffled sobs against Ron's shoulder. It took a while, for her tears to subside, but when they did she stood up and began pacing the room.

"Ron…"

"What?"

"Could you do me a favor and _not _tell Harry about this?"

He only nodded.

"Thanks, Ron."

"No problem, Hermione." He said walking towards the door. "But…_you _better tell him soon."

She stopped pacing to look at him. "I…I will…someday."

"Soon, Hermione. I can't stand seeing my two best friends miserable." He said and then left.

Hermione paced her room more. It was nearly noon, by time she looked at her watch. She decided not to go to the Great Hall for lunch, but wait until the start of term feast that night.

At six-thirty, Harry made his way down to the Great Hall for the feast. The students wouldn't be arriving until seven, but the teachers were to be there early.

Harry sat on Ron's right, as he did at breakfast that morning. Hermione entered the Great Hall shortly after, sitting again on Ron's left. She hadn't looked at Harry and he also tried to keep his eyes from wandering her way. It didn't work; he couldn't help but to look at her.

As the professors entered, Harry found that many that were teaching when he was a student, were still there. Professors Flitwick, Snape, Sinastra, Hagrid, Trelawney (although she wasn't present, but in her office as usual), Binns, and Vektor. Firenze the centaur, also. The newer professors were of course, Hermione, Professor Bagget (the squatty wizard Harry had seen at breakfast), and to Harry's surprise, Neville Longbottom. He is teaching Herbology and is also Head of Hufflepuff, for his third year in a row. He took Professor Sprout's place.

A few minutes past seven, the students began to file into the Great Hall. Hermione left to get the first years and Harry learned that she was Head of Gryffindor house. Ron informed him that she had taken over all of Professor McGonagall's jobs. When Hermione entered the Great Hall with the first years, she was carrying the three-legged stool, with the sorting hat sitting on top. It was the same as always, the hat was to be placed on the student's head and it would shout out which house they were to be in.

Harry remembered most vividly, the moment when he put on the sorting hat. It had seriously considered putting him in Slytherin; it said he would do well in there. But, Harry told the hat he didn't want to be in Slytherin, so it put him in Gryffindor.

The sorting ceremony took place as usual, and when it was over, Professor McGonagall entered the Great Hall. Everyone applauded and then she stood in front of the staff table, to announce the new Headmaster…Ron.

"Settle down, now. Settle down." Everyone went quiet. "Now, as you all may know, I resigned at the end of last year." There were moans from the students. "Listen…Now, since I resigned, it called for me to pick the new Headmaster or Headmistress. And, I'm pleased to inform you, that the new Headmaster of Hogwarts is…Professor Ronald Weasley.

The whole vicinity applauded and started making noise. Apparently Ron was one of the more liked Professors. Harry and the other teachers all clapped too, except for Snape, all he did was sneer at Ron and Harry.

When Ron stood up, the Great Hall went quiet again.

"I am very pleased to be here. But, before I proceed with the usual rules and precautions, I have an announcement to make, also." Everyone was looking at Ron, they didn't know what to expect.

"I had the honor of picking someone, that would be on my side, when I needed them. The new Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts is none other than…Professor Hermione Granger."

The whole place erupted in applause again. Still, Snape wasn't clapping. He was sulking, as if Ron and Hermione didn't deserve this.

"Please…" began Ron again. It went quiet again. "I also have to tell you, that I will no longer be the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor." There were loud moans from the students, and Harry got a little nervous. "But…I am very pleased to say, that I found someone, that I think you will rather enjoy. He has been my friend, for thirteen long years, and had agreed to take the position. Please welcome…Professor Harry Potter."

The whole Great Hall erupted yet again. Ron made Harry stand, and it got even louder. Even the Slytherins were applauding. When Harry sat down, he looked over to his left. Hermione was clapping and smiling. This made him feel a lot better. But, when he looked at Snape, he was sneering again. Harry figured Snape was still trying to land the Defense Against the Dark Arts job, but failed again. When everyone got quiet again, Ron went on with the usual; No student is allowed in the Dark Forest, The caretaker, Mr. Filch has a list of all items not allowed, posted on his office door…etc, etc.

When the feast was over, the students made their way to their house common rooms and the teachers to their offices. When Harry got to his office, he went straight through, to his Dormitory hidden behind it. As soon as he was showered and lay down, he fell asleep. His mind was racing with thoughts of Hermione, he had so many dreams about her, and he thought she was there with him. But, he was disappointed when he woke up next morning, alone, as he had been when he lay down the night before.


	2. Managing

(A/N: I know, I know…you would think Hermione would be Headmistress and Ron just a professor, I just wanted to make it interesting and give it a twist. Do you like? Please Read and Review!)

Chapter 2

The first few weeks of term went by fast and October was creeping up on them. Hermione still hadn't told Harry. She had avoided him like the plague. She couldn't figure out how to tell him, without giving into him. Wanting so much, to crawl up into her dormitory and lock herself in, she slowly got out of bed and dressed, Thursday morning.

Hermione left her dormitory and went into the Transfiguration classroom, to wait for her first class to arrive. When the third years got there, she started them out, by letting them try and turn a kitten into a teakettle. As they were trying the transformation, she sat at her desk, going through some of her plans for the day. She only had to do three lessons today, but one was a double. She was really looking forward to some lunch today, as she had skipped breakfast.

When her first class was over, the second class came in right after. It was the first years. She again gave them their instructions, which were to turn a rat into a goblet and then she sat at her desk again, occasionally walking around the room to observe. After that class, she went to the Great Hall for lunch. She sat down next to Ron and hadn't even noticed that Harry was on Ron's right as usual. When a snowy white owl flew down onto the table, when the mail arrived, that's when she noticed Harry. He removed the small scroll from Hedwig's leg and sent her off with a piece of toast.

Reading the letter to himself, he found it was from Ginny Weasley. His eyes widened as he kept reading.

"Ron…it's from Ginny."

"Ginny?" Said Ron. "When did you start writing her?"

"I wrote your mum last week, Ginny must have found out." Harry answered. "But…that's not the point, Ron…I don't think your going to like this."

"Why not?"

Harry handed Ron the letter.

_Harry,_

_It's so nice to hear from you after so long. Mum's a bit angry, but I think she'll get over it. Anyway, how have you been? I think it's marvelous that you got the Defense Against the Dark Arts job. Mum's absolutely thrilled that Ron is Headmaster now. I was surprised myself, I always imagined Hermione in that position. _

_I have some great news though…don't get mad…Please! I'm marrying Draco Malfoy. Ok…go ahead…yell at me; I know you're going to. I expect Ron will too, he didn't even know I was dating Draco. Anyway, I'll send your invitation as soon as mum and me have them made out. Please write again soon._

_Ginny_

Ron looked furious when he was finished with the letter. He wadded it up and threw it at Harry. He got up and left the Great Hall, obviously going to write Ginny a letter…probably send a howler.

Hermione hesitated, but asked anyway. "What's wrong, Harry?"

Harry's head snapped up at the sound of Hermione's voice. She hadn't spoken to him in so long, he hadn't expected it. Not wanting to say anything he would regret, he just handed her the letter and went back to his breakfast.

Hermione read the letter quickly, but wasn't at all surprised by the news. "Oh…well, I've known about this for ages. Ginny made me promise not to tell Ron or anyone else."

Harry looked up at her, he wanted to say something, but didn't know what. She was actually smiling and he didn't want to ruin the fact that she was actually on speaking terms with him again. So, he just smiled faintly and the started at his breakfast again. They both remained quiet for the rest of their meal, only speaking when another professor or student spoke them to. Hermione left first, she went back to her office to make sure she had everything ready for the next lesson, which was the double lesson.

Harry went back to his office to do the same, he was to be teaching fourth years.

When his class came in at about one, they were all quiet, unlike usual. They were looking at him differently and whispering a little to their friends. After about twenty minutes into the lesson, he stopped.

"What's going on?" He asked the class.

One of the students raised their hands. She reminded him much of Hermione, when she knew the right answer to a question. The girl was waving her hand in the air and looked like she was going to explode if she didn't get to answer the question.

"Yes, Ms. Garret."

"Well, it's just that…you, Professor Weasley and Professor Granger use to be really close friends…right?"

Harry gave her a quizzical look. "Yeah…but what's your point?"

"Well, " piped up another student. "We've noticed that you haven't really been speaking to Professor Granger very much…like you aren't friends anymore."

"Yeah…" said a boy in the back of the class. "You and them vanquished You-Know-Who together…Why aren't you as close as you use to be?"

Harry was surprised that they had caught on, but wasn't about to tell them about his personal life.

"We have our reasons…" Harry said. "But, why don't we get back to work. Now…as I was saying—"

"I'm sorry, Professor Potter, but I don't understand…" Said the Garret girl again. "If you've been friends since you started school here, how can you just stop talking one day?"

"I get your point, but really, I don't think this is something you need to know." Harry said to her. "Now, if you would all please turn to page 87 in your textbooks, and take notes on—"

"But, Professor—"

"Am I going to have to give out detentions?" Harry interrupted. At that, the entire class was quiet again. "Now please…take notes on chapter five. If you have any questions…pertaining only to the chapter, then don't hesitate to ask."

Harry sat down at his desk. He had never been grilled by one of his classes like that before and it was quite annoying. Although, they did have a point…

When the bell rang for the students to leave, Harry gave them an essay over the chapter. Even though he knew they didn't like it, cause he knew he hated getting essays in school. Now he understood what the teachers went through. When the seventh years came, some of them asked similar questions about him and Professor Granger. Again, he didn't let it get to him. At the end of the double period, he gave them a twelve-inch essay on Patronuses, seeing as how that's what they were studying. He still didn't understand why the students had this sudden interest in him and Hermione. But, it did get him thinking about her more. As soon as the seventh years left, he went into his office. He couldn't get her out of his mind. Deciding that it was time to try and talk to her again, he got the Marauder's Map out and looked for her. She was in the Great Hall, obviously having dinner. He would have to wait until after dinner. He would wait in the Transfiguration classroom until she got back.

Harry waited for what seemed like hours. He sat on one of the many tables in the Transfiguration classroom, just staring at the wall and waiting. Finally, at sometime past seven, she came in. She looked surprised that he was there waiting for her.

"Harry…what are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you." He answered, standing up.

"Oh…well, good!" She said, now walking over to her desk. "Ron and I missed you at dinner…I was really hoping to talk to you."

"Were you?" Asked Harry. He moved closer to her now, but still keeping a distance between them.

She nodded. "There are so many things we need to clear up."

"Yeah…" Harry said, eying her suspiciously. "Like what?"

Hermione hesitated; she started messing with the front of her robes. Harry could tell she was nervous.

"About us." She said finally.

"Good…" Began Harry. "That's what I wanted to talk about."

Hermione stood in front of her desk, leaning against it. They were quiet for a long time. Harry just looked at Hermione. He didn't know where to start but at the beginning. But, doing that would only bring back things that Harry didn't want to face. The fact that he stopped writing her, for one.

"Harry…I really only have one question." Hermione said suddenly.

"What's that?"

"Why…why did you tell me you loved me, if you didn't mean it?" She didn't know why she asked the question. She had overheard him talking to Ron and telling him that he did love her and that he still did. Maybe she just needed it confirmed.

"Hermione, I did love you. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't."

"Then, why didn't you say anything about it in your letters? And why haven't I heard from you in five years?"

Harry didn't know how to answer. He didn't really _know_ the answer.

"I didn't say anything, cause you didn't. I was afraid that I had scared you or something. I didn't want to scare you away." Harry explained. "As for the other…I really don't remember why I stopped writing you. Then, I got busy with Quidditch…I just lost track of everything."

"You mean…you forgot about me?" Hermione asked, scared of what he was going to say.

"No! Hermione…I never for one minute forgot about you. You were always on my mind."

"Then why didn't you just sit down and write me a simple letter?" Hermione asked. She was now on the verge of tears. She tried to hold them back, she was tired of crying, she had been doing too much of it lately.

"I really don't know…I was stupid, Hermione." Harry pleaded. "If I could go back and change it, I would."

"It's to late for that, Harry." She turned and started walking to her office, but Harry caught up with her and held her back.

"Hermione, I don't care if I'm too late. Nothing's going to stop me from loving you forever."

Hermione looked up at his face and she knew right away that he meant it.

"Stop it, Harry. I can't hear this anymore." The tears began to fall, for what seemed like the thousandth time that year.

"Hermione…dammit!"

He let go of her. He was doing it again; he was causing her more pain. Why did she do this to him? Turning around, he wiped a tear from his eye, hoping she hadn't seen.

But…she had. She had never seen Harry cry before. And now that she had, she didn't like it, because she had caused that tear. She wanted now, more than ever to just hold him. Hold him in her arms and take away all the pain he was feeling. But, she was feeling that pain too and right now, she didn't know how to deal with it.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm so stubborn. All I ever wanted was your love. But now, I know I can't have it." Harry said. "And if I can't have that, I at least want you to be my friend again."

He paused, to give her time to think about what he said. When she didn't say anything, he continued.

"Hermione, I'll do anything to keep you in my life. And, if just having you as a friend is how I'm going to have you, than that's all I want." Harry explained. "Hermione…please, I can't live without you. I can't stand seeing you almost every day and you won't even talk to me. It kills me to know that I did that to you."

Hermione was perplexed. She didn't know what to say, so she said nothing. She only looked at him. Seeing more tears in his eyes only made it worse.

"I'm going now…" He said. He started walking to the door, but she stopped him.

"Harry wait!" She called.

Harry stopped and turned around. "What?"

"I'm scared…"

"Of what?"

"I'm scared that if we're friends, then it'll happen all over again." She said.

"I won't let it, if you won't." He said. "It may kill me inside, but If that's the cost of seeing you happy, then that's what I'm gonna do."

Without another word, Harry left. Hermione just stood there and watched the door, hoping he would come back through it. He never did. She just let him go. The only person she ever loved and she let him get away. She hated herself for doing it, but it was the only option.

The next day went by so slow; Hermione thought that it would never end. She hadn't said a word to Harry yet, and he hadn't attempted to say anything to her. When Ron sat down with them at lunch, he began talking, and they got into a conversation. Hermione hadn't said anything to him about the previous night, but she was pretty sure Harry would have. But, Ron didn't seem to acknowledge anything, so Hermione just kept quiet about it. When Ron left, Hermione and Harry were left with nothing to say. So, Hermione attempted at conversation.

"Did you sleep well last night?" She asked him.

"No not really." He answered. "You?"

"No…"

_Well that certainly was a waist of time_, she thought. She picked up her copy of the _Daily Profet_ and began to read, so her eyes weren't drawn to Harry. When she heard him leave, she put the paper down and watched him go. Then, she got up and strode off to her office.

Over the next couple of weeks, things started getting better between Harry and Hermione. Harry told Ron what happened between them, and he seemed ecstatic about it. He was glad they were able to work it, so they could all be friends again. He even said, "I told you so," to Hermione. But, she didn't seem to thrilled, so he let off the subject.

Harry still couldn't stop thinking about Hermione. Even thought they decided just to stay friends, he still loved her. He would always love her…not matter what. He wasn't really sure that Hermione ever loved him and he wanted to know, but he didn't ask her, he went to Ron.

Ron told him he didn't know, but Harry knew different. It was one of those promises. Ron promised Hermione that he wouldn't tell. Harry respected that, so he didn't press on Ron to break his promise with Hermione.

Harry had been asked to be the new umpire for Quidditch games. Madam Hooch had suffered a very bad injury and finally gave it up. Harry was thrilled to be out playing Quidditch again, he had missed it.

November passed just as fast as October, and soon the grounds of Hogwarts were covered in snow. As usual, being more than a week into December, the professors started putting up the Christmas decorations. Harry now understood what took so long. It was when Hagrid asked him to help with the twelve Christmas trees that he understood what not having magic was like. So, Harry helped Hagrid, by levitating the trees into the Great Hall. Things went a lot smoother after that.

Hermione, was making a list of who all would be staying over Christmas break, as Professor McGonagall use to do. She looked relieved that the break was soon, as she had had a very agitating start of term.

When Christmas break finally rolled around, Harry was going to have a lot more time to spend with Ron and Hermione. Though, Ron, being Headmaster, had a lot of things to do, and couldn't spend as much time with them as he wanted. He was in his office most of the time. So, Hermione and Harry would spend nights in the staff room, or in one of their offices talking about off things. The even relived some of their adventures from when they were students. But, they did what they could to stay away from their seventh year. They didn't have many good memories from that year. Though, they enjoyed talking about the events of fourth year, but they never talked about the maze, or the end of the year. A bad feeling always came to Harry whenever they talked about Voldemort. Mostly, it made him think of his parents. Then he would go off on a rampage about the Dursleys and that made him feel even worse. So, Hermione tried to stay away from that subject.

It was Christmas Eve and Ron was in and important meeting with the governors of the school. Harry and Hermione again found themselves alone. They decided to go to Hermione's office and have some hot cocoa.

When they entered the office, Harry frowned.

"What?" Asked Hermione.

"I'm going to have to talk to Ron about my office…" He explained. "I don't have a couch."

Hermione laughed at him as he went and sat on the couch against the wall. Hermione conjured up two cups of hot cocoa and brought them to the couch, sitting them on the coffee table in front of it. She sat down at the other end.

"I'm serious." Harry said. "Your office is much more comfier than mine."

"You know Harry, it doesn't take much to conjure up a couch." Hermione said matter of factly.

"Yes I know…" Said Harry. "But I never thought about it."

"Well…now you have."

Hermione smirked and then they laughed. Hermione was very easy to get along with, when she was relaxed. Harry watched her take a drink of her hot cocoa. She gave him a quizzical look.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing." Said Harry, taking a drink from his own mug.

It was quiet for a while. The just sat drinking their hot cocoa and enjoying the quietness. Then Hermione jumped up.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked her.

"Nothing…I just remembered." She said running over to the window.

"Remembered what?"

"The lake is frozen…"

"So…what about it?" Said Harry.

"We can go ice skating." She piped.

"Ice Skating? Hermione, I'm not much of a skater."

"I'll teach you then…" She ran to her dormitory and got her cloak. "Come on."

Harry hesitated, but saw how happy she looked, so he followed her. She led the way through the corridors, out the big oak front doors, and down to the lake. When they got there, there were already a few students out there, who seemed to be really good at skating. They were couples holding hands, skating around the lake. Harry got a weird feeling, when Hermione handed him a pair of Ice skates that she had conjured up.

"Hermione…I'm not so sure about this." Harry said as he put on the skates.

"Oh Harry, its so easy." She said, stepping out onto the ice.

Harry watched her skate forward a little ways and then she skated back to him, where he was standing at the edge of the lake. "See simple."

"Yeah…for someone who's done it before."

"Ohh…come on." She said. She came up and grabbed his hand and pulled him out onto the lake.

"Hermione, wait…I told you I can't do this."

But she had already pulled him about ten feet away from the edge of the lake. She let go of his hand, which was a bad idea, cause he knew if he moved he was going to fall.

Harry stood as still as possible, while Hermione started skating circles around him, just smiling the whole time. The falling snow around her only made her look more beautiful. Harry reached out his arm and caught her.

"You know, you're not a very good teacher."

"You're going to have to learn to walk before you can skate." Said Hermione.

"If I move, I'm going to fall."

"No you won't, now move." Hermione demanded.

Reluctantly, Harry took a slow step forward. When he didn't fall, he took a couple more.

"Good." Said Hermione. "Now do this." She skated forward a couple of strides.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No…just do it." She said.

"Ok, ok."

Slowly, Harry took a couple of steps, before taking one stride. He managed the first one, but when he was in the midst of the second one, his feet slipped out from under him. He landed on his ass, hard on the ice.

"Oh, Harry." Hermione shrieked, skating over to him. "Are you alright?"

"Harry groaned. "Perfect…now that my ass is one big bruise."

Hermione helped him to his feet. He looked over to the edge of the lake, and some of the students were laughing at him. He looked at Hermione, who was trying her hardest to suppress her own giggles. It wasn't working to well.

"I'm sorry, Harry." She said through her giggles. "It's just…"

"Oh, you think it's funny do ya?" Said Harry.

"Yes…I'm sorry." She covered he mouth with her hands, trying to stop from laughing. "But, that was very good. Why don't you try again?"

"You're crazy, you know that. I'm not trying again, cause I'll just fall."

"You won't." Said Hermione. "Uhhh…give me your hand." She grabbed his hand and started moving forward again, slowly.

Ignoring his protests, she dragged him along, around the lake. Harry noticed that all the students had gone in and they were quite alone. He also noticed that it was almost completely dark and the only light was coming from the moon and stars.

After dragging him around for a while, Harry finally got the hang of it and was skating along beside her fine. Thought, she still hadn't let of his hand, but he didn't think anything of it.

They skated around the lake a few times, and then Hermione just suddenly stopped.

"What is it?" Harry asked her.

"Oh…nothing. Just getting cold." She answered.

"Maybe we should head back in." Harry suggested.

"Yeah…"

Then they started skating back to the other side of the lake, Hermione still gripping Harry's hand tightly.

It happened in an instant. Harry was skating along fine when he hit a small clump of ice. His feet came out from under him, yet again. He fell hard on his back, bringing Hermione down on top of him. The wind was knocked out of him and he groaned loudly. His head was aching from where it hit the ice and he could tell there was a large lump there.

"Harry…are you ok?" Hermione asked, leaning over him.

"Do I look ok?"

Hermione started laughing again.

"Really Hermione, I don't know what's so funny."

She stifled her laughing and looked at his face. His eyes were closed.

"Hermione…could you please get off of me." He asked, opening his eyes to look at her.

But she didn't move. She just continued to look at his face. Her eyes flickered down to his lips and then back to his eyes. She licked her own lips.

"Hermione…"

Her face was inching closer to his. He wasn't sure what she was going to do. Her face was only a couple of inches away when Harry leaned his head up and pressed his lips to hers. They were soft and warm, and she tasted so sweet. Harry's mind went blank and now he couldn't remember who kissed who. But, he didn't care, as long as she didn't move away.

Harry's hands moved around to her back, pulling her close. His tongue slid along her lower lip. Hermione parted her lips and his tongue dipped into her mouth, exploring hungrily. As Harry's tongue slid along Hermione's, he felt warmth spread throughout his body. He wasn't sure what it was, but he knew it was a good feeling. Finally, when they pulled back to breathe, Harry looked up and Hermione. Her eyes widened.

"Oh, God!" She shrieked. She stood up and started skating away as fast as her legs would carry her.

"Hermione!" Harry shouted, getting to his feet. He tried to skate after her, but he slipped and fell again.

Harry threw off his skates and got up, running across the lake after her. She already had her skates off and was running across the grounds by time Harry made it to the edge of the lake.

"Hermione!" He shouted again. But she just kept running, up the steps and through the big oak front doors.

Harry kept running after her. When he went through the oak doors, she was already up on the second floor, heading for the Transfiguration room. He ran across the Entrance Hall and up the Marble Staircase. He saw her run through the door at the other end of the corridor. Running as fast as he could, he reached the door and ran in. She wasn't in there, but her office door was ajar and Harry ran in there. She wasn't in her office either, so he ran to her dormitory door and tried to open it. It was locked. He took out his wand and muttered, "_Alohamora_." The lock clicked and Harry threw open the door.

Hermione was curled up on her bed, crying.

"Hermione…" He said, rushing over and kneeling beside her bed.

"Hermione, please…" Harry said, turning her over.

"Leave me alone, Harry."

"No." He said firmly. He lifted her, pulled her into his arms and held her.

She didn't resist, but wrapped her arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder.

"Hermione…what's wrong?" Harry whispered.

"I'm sorry, Harry." She muttered into his neck.

"Why Hermione? Why are you sorry?" He asked. He pulled her away from his neck, so he could look into her eyes.

They were puffy and red. Tears just kept falling, all the tears she had held back over the last few weeks.

"Why are you sorry?" Harry repeated.

"Because…because I love you, Harry." Hermione muttered and curled back up on her bed.

"Hermione, it's ok." Harry said, pulling her back to him. "You don't have to be sorry."

"Yes, I do." She said. "All I did was push you away when you loved me and all the time I loved you back." She wiped some of the tears from her face. "I'm sorry, Harry."

"No, Hermione, don't be. It doesn't matter. I still love you more than I ever have." Harry said, holding her again.

"But, Harry—"

"No." He interrupted her. "Shh…don't do this to yourself."

Hermione leaned into Harry and just cried. She pulled him onto the bed with her. For the longest time, they just lay there holding each other. Hermione's tears finally stopped after a while and now they were only quiet sobs, though her face was still tear stricken.

Harry didn't make any attempt to let go of her. He didn't understand whey she had gotten so upset. He didn't care that she had pushed him away, now that he knew she loved him. But why didn't she tell him before?

"Hermione…" Harry whispered.

She looked up at him.

"Hermione…why didn't you tell me?"

She didn't answer right away, but looked at him for a moment.

"I was so mad at you. I didn't want you to know, but then I did." She paused. When he didn't say anything, she continued. "One thing you'll never know, Harry…is how hard it was not to tell you. All I wanted to do was hold you in my arms and tell you that…that…I love you, more than life itself."

Harry looked into her eyes as she spoke. He couldn't believe she just told him that.

"Hermione…I love you, too." Harry said, and then leaned down and kissed her lightly.

Hermione sighed into the kiss, letting it become deeper and more passionate. Her arms curled back around his neck and her hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer. Harry plunged his tongue into her mouth, to taste her sweetness. When he pulled away, he could see a longing in Hermione's eyes, a longing that he felt.


End file.
